This issue is focused on emotional well being so I thought I would talk a bit about detachment. As disciples and aspirants we are supposed to practice control over our desire or emotional nature with our mental nature. It is always the higher which gains steady control over the lower. We are supposed to practice what is sometimes called a detached attachment or an interested disinterest. The problem is that we are to aspire to higher learning and expression and that in itself is a desire.
So how do we use desire while simultaneously shutting it down? The simple answer is we don’t. It is not necessary at this point in our lives to destroy our astral (desire) nature. None of us (I assume) are ready for that great renunciation. What we need to do is stop letting it drive. As we use our minds and strengthen them we begin to exercise control over emotional responses.
Any married person in the world knows the feeling of unexpressed anger at a spouse that could not be addressed at some public event. You waited until you were alone and ripped his/her head off. Now why were you able to control it then but once you had the opportunity the flood gates opened? It is because it would not have been prudent to do public. It was not worth the other feelings or explanations that would have been the result.
Now, this cannot always be contained this way and we have all born witness to the public blowout as well. The point is it can be controlled and if we can control it sometimes, we can get better and better at controlling it. Perhaps then the flood gates never need to open and we can just address the issue with our spouse without all the drama which just impedes the process anyway. When we can walk more quietly through those disturbances we will live happier lives.
The emotional investment is some part of what is at stake. In situations where we don’t “have a dog in the race” we can be impartial and more effective judges. It’s easy to raise other people’s kids from the sidelines. I think every kid should have a step parent; we are so much harder to manipulate. We need to be able to apply that interested detachment to our own lives as well as those situations. If we are more effective when we are detached we should try to be that effective in our own lives. It is easier said than done but not impossible.
I just lost the best job I have ever had, and along with it an outstanding salary. My boss was one of the best people I will ever know and he is still my friend, but this has the potential to be a really terrible stage in my life. I could easily rant and rave and go back to drinking or whatever, but I have not done that. This was not a huge surprise because it is a small company and we were getting very slow, but it is still a shake up. Those little envelopes won’t be coming every other Tuesday. I liked them.
When I hung up the phone after the fateful conversation with my boss, I turned to my wife and said “it will be interesting to see how this all works out”. It was as if I were talking about someone else’s life. Of course I care about the outcome but at the same time it is like watching a movie. You may or may not like the story, but it doesn’t really matter. I am not afraid, but if any of you were considering buying a book or two this would be a great time.
Crisis and opportunity are represented by the same symbol in Chinese. They also have an interesting curse which is “May you live in interesting times”. These are interesting times all right, but it doesn’t really matter how it shakes out because I know somehow that I will be ok. This philosophy has given me such peace of mind. I know I am exactly what I represent myself to be. I know I deserved that salary because of how I do my job. I will replace that income with another source because I was worth it then and I am worth it now. You live I the universe you create and I created that job. I am going to do even better this time.
Even if this situation were to cost me my home, something that many people are facing today, I would still be alive and learning and able to work and I would be growing in the process. Guess what? That is really my only job, growing. If you are put into a situation where you cannot grow, that is a problem. The dead end job or relationship is the real crisis but some of us just sleep through those kinds of things. Then you wake up too late at the end of your life and realize you haven’t actually done anything. I’m not sleeping through this one, believe me. That would be disinterested detachment I guess.
The point is we need to live and love without clinging. We speak of love as the law of attraction. If we don’t stop attracting, we should never need to begin clinging. A magnet does not need a hook. As long as it stays a magnet the iron won’t leave. If you want to keep someone in your life, make them happy and they will want to stay. Clinging never really kept anyone from leaving and sometimes it makes them want to. It works with everything. You have attracted all that is in your life by thinking of it and infusing that thought with emotion. If you only infuse the negative thoughts then that is what you manifest. That is why we try to think positively and radiate good feelings. We will resonate with and manifest the positive thoughts and our lives will show it.
With Love,
Doug
